Finding Your Tribe

I'm a HUGE advocate for girlfriend time...AKA...Mom Friendships, and here's why:

First and foremost being a mom can be a lonely job, especially those moms that stay-at-home.  For stay-at-home moms our only interactions for most of the day are with our children.  After I had my first child, I especially remember talking my husband's head off the moment he walked through the door. For him, it probably felt like a firing range unloading at him. For me, it most definitely was just about the only adult interaction for the first time that day.  It's hard to find balance when all a mom has to talk to is little ones.  At times, I felt like I was losing my smarts because my mind was in a brain fog from using simple commands and words to my children for most of the day.  Now, don't get me wrong, staying at home is the best thing that I could do for my children, but it can be a lonely job.

For those that work outside the home, girlfriend time is just as important. Okay, yes, you may get more adult interaction in your day then say a stay-at-home mom, but you're talking about work all day...yuck! No fun! So, here is why ALL moms NEED girlfriend time:

Help You Blow Off Steam:

Women love to gab, vent, and bounce ideas off friends, which ultimately helps us forget the stressors from the day.  So, when I say I feel like girlfriend time is of the utmost importance, for me, it truly is!  I have a great core group that get together, all moms, and all in different stages of mom-hood.  We all connect and have formed bonds with each other.  Our porch parties and "girls nights out" are critical for our sanity, and a little wine and prosecco helps too! It's a time for us to talk about anything other than our kids if we want, or discuss the craziness of being a mom.  Having friendships like this keep our heads above water on days when we feel like drowning. 

Honesty 101:

Your girlfriend moms will quite honestly be the most brutally honest group you hang with.  All will carry their own opinions, which you can respectfully agree or disagree with.  If it weren't for all my friends who had just had babies, I would have been lost even more than I felt after my first baby.  If you have a great core group, they will tell you when you look tired and will try to offer helpful advice when they feel you need it. 

Times Have Changed:

Your own mom and/or mother in law are a wealth of great advice if they can remember.  Let's face it, its in most women's DNA to block out most of those baby years. When you factor in high levels of stress, no sleep, and literally trying not to drown in life, its convenient to just block that "fun" stuff out of our minds. But, by far the hardest reason why our parents aren't necessarily as much help as we had hoped, stems from the fact that baby stuff and technology that comes with all of that stuff has rapidly changed. With all of that being said though, your parents can still pass along some standard sound advice, so listen.

Been There, Done That, Got the Trophy:

Lastly, mom friends have been down the same road.  They've all been in the trenches and came out survivors.  So, along the way they may have picked up a few tricks that may just make your path a little less bumpy.  So, listen and take notes, their path will never be your exact path, and remember every single baby, even from the same parents, is completely different; so every single motherhood path will be different.

You won't always connect or click with every mom, and that's okay.  The most important thing to keep in mind is to not isolate yourself.  We found our tribe at the gym, and at that time, half of us didn't even have children!  We had all forged freindships long before children, so finding my tribe wasn't hard. 

Just remember, it's okay to let your spouse, parents, or someone you trust watch your children, so you can get out and have some girlfriend time!  You don't even have to go out to have fun.  Some of our favorite get-togethers involve someone's porch!  Most importantly, remember to not feel guilty for doing something for yourself.  The best advice my best mom friend told me was to always make sure I took time for me, so that I could be a better wife and mom. 

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  • Kelli on

    Awe Mama D! You might make me tear up. You don’t know how much your comment means to me. Please, go and share my blogs with friends! Love you!

  • Kelli FIscher on

    Thanks Toni! So glad you are loving it!

  • Danyelle Hambright on

    My words can’t even began to express how proud I am of you, this was such an awesome blog. I really enjoyed it. Please keep up the great work.

  • Tonique Jones on

    I’m loving your blog!!!

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